The Worst Kinds of Frisbee Players

Standlers:

Handlers who can’t cut, “standlers” for short, are my second least favorite types of players.  Standlers are always the ones that get roasted when the offense turns it, and for some inexplicable reason they are always the ones that complain and blame their teammates for any shortcomings. 

I hate how they just stare at you and put a hand up.  I hate how they think they’ve “hacked” or “solved” the game.  I hate how they think of ultimate as a game and not a sport.  I hate how they think if their defender plays them tight they can just get open, but as soon as someone plays them tight they fall apart because they’ve never practiced getting open and they’re athleticism is weak.

I think Frisbee is a sport.  I think that anyone who wants to walk around a Frisbee field and catch dumps for a 10 yard loss just so they can huck it should have some pride and learn how to run.  I think that a team that has handlers who work hard to get uplines and are interchangeable with the cutters is a dynamic team that constantly puts the defense on its heels.  Instead standlers are just not moving, asking their teammates to complete highly technical passes just to get them the ball, and then standing and waiting till around stall seven, letting the defense settle and tighten up, before throwing something. 

What bothers me most about standlers is the question of “why?”  Why don’t you want to run around?  Why don’t you want to throw and go?  Have you ever felt the thrill of running an upline?  Have you ever caught a goal?  Isn’t it great?!?  Don’t you want to get your defender behind you and beat him around the field?  Have you ever tried playing sub stall 4 ultimate?  Have you ever played a sport before?

Mindless-Cutters

As boring and weak willed as standlers are nothing, absolutely nothing, is worse than a cutter who can’t handle.

I hate how they say “throwing has never been my strength” and they think of it as an excuse for why they shouldn’t learn how to throw.  I still don’t get the reasoning behind this.

I hate watching them jitter as they hold the disc.  I hate watching them short circuit as they start looking all over the place and doing weird pivots at nothing because they have no feel for how to manage being a thrower.  I hate how when they dump they just run away and never look back at the thrower.  Don’t you want to throw and go?  What if you swung and went upline?  Don’t you want to move the ball?

What I hate most about these players is that when the standlers make fun of them for not being a thrower, or teases them about being stupid Frisbee players, these cutters who can’t handle laugh and agree!  Are you kidding me?  Have some pride!  As a cutter I found this insufferable.  Why would we just accept our fate as guys who just run around and never throw?

Every time Kennedy made fun of my throws or suggested that I was a mindless Frisbee player, I took a deep and personal offense to that.  I worked to show Kennedy that cutters could be Frisbee players and not just mindless robots.  I wanted to have throws so that no one could ever think to make fun of me for being “not a thrower”.

When you accept a role or identity as one of these two players types, you’re intentionally closing your mind off to half the game.  I can’t think of any dumber or lazier decision to make.